Chairman’s Chit Chat April 2023
“You are becoming more and more like Victor Meldrew with every passing day.”
This is an accusation Jessie is directing at me quite frequently these days. There was I, thinking I was a gregarious, positive-minded, happy-go-lucky sort of chap. But no – according to my wife, the older I am getting, the grumpier I am becoming. Well, if this is true, then I have good reason.
There are a few things – pet hates you could call them – which do make me hot under the collar or, to use a modern phrase, “wind me up.”
Other drivers seem to think I am a mind reader because hardly anyone these days seem to use their indicators to give you a clue as to which way they are turning. When I was learning to drive, we were taught the noble art of hand signals. These were not easy to execute, and not easily seen or understood by other road users, but we had to learn them anyway because they were part of the driving test. If I recall this correctly, the procedure was to drive along holding the steering wheel with your left hand, wind down the driver’s window (manual handle – remember them?) and if you intended to turn right, you stuck your extended right arm out with the palm perpendicular to the road. If the intention was to make a left-hand turn, you rotated your extended right arm in an anti-clockwise direction. To show that you were slowing down, you waved your extended right arm, palm horizontal to the road, up and down, imitating a bird’s wing in flight. For the life of me, I can’t remember how you changed gear while all this was going on: it doesn’t seem to leave you enough hands. Anyway, after all that faffing about, how difficult is it for the modern motorist to flick a finger to use the indicator?
I am going to roll litter and the lack of good manners into one gripe, as I think they have a common root cause – selfishness. This country seems to be permanently ankle deep in rubbish, from town and city streets to country roadsides and, unbelievably, RSPB nature reserves. Drop that coffee container or fast food carton anywhere you like when empty. It is now not your problem; you have successfully made it someone else’s – well done! Life is lived at such a fast pace nowadays that no one has the time or inclination to respect his fellow man. I am so important and superior that I must get through that door before you, even if it means pushing you aside. My Mum always used to say “good manners cost nothing”, a maxim long forgotten, it would appear.
There is a fashion among dog walkers in our village to have these long, extendable leads. To my mind these are dangerous and anti-social. The dog is 20 or more feet either behind or in front of the walker, who has no control whatsoever over the animal. It is free to trip up unsuspecting pedestrians or knock unsuspecting cyclists off their bikes by wandering about hither and yon or to foul footpaths and front gardens as it pleases. Meanwhile the walker is completely oblivious to this behaviour, as they are too intent holding a conversation on their mobile phone, which is welded to their ear. I am no Barbara Woodhouse but I was always led to believe that the correct way to walk a dog was to have the animal on a short leash on your left-hand side. Simple.
OH NO! Jessie is right. I AM turning into Victor Meldrew!
Tags: dogs, drivers, leads, litter